October 2010
1 post
Things have got to change
Tonight was a special night for me. Through a series of circumstances, I got a big treat: I was able to rock both of my children at the same time at bedtime. That’s never happened, and I don’t bank that it will ever happen again.
But as I sat in the Laz-y-Boy with Little Man on my left side and Big Girl on my right, my thoughts drifted from what a lucky mom I am to have two...
May 2010
1 post
Back into hell...who am I? Meatloaf?
After the family trip to visit the In-Laws last September, I was pretty sure we could never have an equally horrible travel experience. Next time I have a thought like that, someone wrap my brain in duct tape to keep me silent. Having productive thoughts is clearly not my forte.
For months, I looked forward to Loving Husband’s business trip to Rotterdam, Holland, because it meant a chance...
April 2010
2 posts
You aren't from around here, are you?
I’ve always found it mildly offensive when someone has asked me that question. So what if I’m not – does it matter? Of course, most of the time, it’s been because they detect the lingering big of Southern drawl that refuses to disappear when I speak. It’s really no big deal, but seeing the news reports about the new Arizona immigration legislation made me pause to think about what it would be like...
Family Day FAIL
Loving Husband and I had the brilliant idea yesterday to take the kids out for a fun morning. We clearly should’ve known that the beautiful weather would be misleading.
It wasn’t bad enough that Little Man woke up on the wrong side of the crib, crabby and screamy. But, he was generally in the mood to scream about everything. Frankly, I’m amazed that Big Girl didn’t try to...
March 2010
3 posts
Bite me once...
shame on you. Bite me twice, maybe shame on me. Bite me three times, I think we need to talk.
Okay, so I’m not talking about me. I can’t remember the last time that a person (other than one of my children) actually bit me. Well, yes, I can, but we won’t talk about that.
This time, I’m talking about Little Man. We got a call from Spiffy, Expensive Daycare/Preschool...
Where was Farrah?
I had a feeling this would happen. On that hot June day, I turned to Loving Husband, and I told him that this would be the outcome.
On June 25, the entertainment world lost two shining stars. Farrah Fawcett lost her three-year battle with anal cancer at age 62 that day. Upon hearing the news, almost everyone mourned this loss, and NBC Dateline aired an hour-long program, called “Farrah...
What can you do with $60?
Let’s see…on any given day, $60 could buy you a relatively nice dinner. Or a new pair of shoes. If you’re like me, it might even buy you a lot of clothes for your kids if your favorite Kiddie Clothing Emporium is having one of their famous sales.
But, today is not any given day. Today is Monday — otherwise known as “Let’s get ourselves locked out of the house...
February 2010
9 posts
Go, Jenny Sanford, Go!
All I can say is that it’s about freakin’ time.
In all my years as an avid political observer, I’ve seen a lot of things that have frustrated me, made me angry or, flat out, disgusted me. Nothing has ticked me off more, though, that the image of the dutiful, long-suffering politician’s wife. If the saying that behind every successful man is a strong and good woman, then...
And they called him "Boner" Stabone
As a young child of the 80s, I am in no way ashamed to admit that I loved watching “Growing Pains.” I always identified in large part with Carol, the nerdy, socially awkward sister. Oh, who am I kidding, I had a red-hot place in my heart for Mike (played by Kirk Cameron).
I wasn’t close to being a teenager yet, so I reveled in watching what I only assumed were the real-life...
What I really need is a 340-yard drive.
There are plenty of things in my life for which I will accept apologies.
“Honey, I’m sorry I wrecked the car.” “Mommy, I’m sorry I spilled grape juice all over the Oriental rug.” “I’m sorry I stole your idea, lied to the boss and told her it was mine.”
These are things for which I would feel totally appropriate accepting an apology.
But...
Was I supposed to bring that?
I think I can categorically say that God’s greatest gift to parents is grandparents. And, perhaps, in some way, being that gift to parents is God’s way of rewarding grandparents for not locking their progeny in the closet when they desperately wanted to. Food for thought.
But I mention this because Loving Husband and I have been in need of a substantial break from our own little ones...
Bye-Bye Baby!
My Little Man had his first hair cut today. Sniff, sniff. Mommy wipes away her tears.
Don’t get wrong — he needed the hair cut. Hair was in his eyes, down below the bottom of his ears, and I believe that he had the beginning of what could’ve become a mullet or a rat tail. Something had to be done.
There happens to be a salon specifically for kids in our city, and...
Brangelina? Brad & Jenn? Calling it Quits?...
Okay, I get it. Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston are uber-attractive people. They’re rich. They’re famous. They were once involved in the hottest love triangle, infidelity-gossip trip in Hollywood.
But can someone explain to me why every time I click on CNN, I see another story about the supposed rift growing between the actor-blob currently know as Brangelina or a...
Round and round the mulberry bush -- no, wait,...
Last week, Loving Husband had to go to New York City for business. The trip happened to coincide with the largest snow storm our area has seen in the five years we’ve lived here. Despite my best efforts to get him to return home early before the multi-inch snowfall propelled our area into a freak-out of grande proportions, he stayed in the Big Apple.
When he finally came home, the snow...
All he wanted was some coffee and muffins...is...
Loving Husband did a wonderful thing this morning. We are out of oatmeal, so he volunteered upon first waking up to go to Dunkin’ Donuts to get muffins, coffee and orange juice for the kids. He’s great like that.
It should be noted that Loving Husband is the kind of man who needs a big cup of coffee and at least an hour to wake up properly and be functional.
When he got home, this...
Making me stronger...
I heard a quote the other day that I really like:
“I know that God won’t give me anything that He knows I can’t handle — I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.”
Today was a day that falls directly, completely, wholly into that category. For those of you have you been reading this Blog, you know that I do public relations for a school inside a University. As...
January 2010
6 posts
Perhaps a subscription to Cosmo? Nah, I'll pass...
So, this is how it’s going to be. Correction — this is clearly how it still is.
I’ll preface everything by saying that I’m an early-life convert to the Democratic Party, but this post has absolutely nothing to do with politics except for the person in question. This is a male-female thing.
I consider myself an avid follower of all things political: local, state and...
This, sir, is not a rum & Coke
This past weekend, I had the great fortune of going out for a girls’ night with a wonderful friend. It’s the first time that either one of us had really gone out for a night on the town in a long, long while.
Courtesy of a lovely car service, we were escorted to the city just over the county line and had a grand time enjoying spectacular martinis at our first stop. I highly recommend...
Some people should get birth control for free
No, this isn’t a blog about giving condoms to those who can’t afford to buy them. This is something else entirely. This is a blog about the reality that there just might be some people out there who shouldn’t procreate. Not that they shouldn’t be allowed to procreate — no hateful comments, please — just that they shouldn’t.
I witnessed an encounter today...
A rose among the thorns...
That’s what my P.E. teachers called me at the end of my freshman year in high school. This was, of course, after they had sidelined me during the third nine weeks for continually hurting myself.
That’s right. You read that correctly. The teachers made me sit out for the final nine weeks of school because they were tired of me hurting myself. They virtually gave me an A to prevent any...
Which one of these is not like the other?
ABC, NBC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN and Fox News?
If you guessed Fox News, DING, DING, DING, you’ve found the secret square.
Now, before any of my more conservative friends decide to come at me with pitchforks and torches, let me say this: I am, in no way, asserting that any news network is perfect. They all have their biases, they all make mistakes in presenting stories, they all have anchors and...
$1?
There have been several times in my adult life when I’ve been asked to pony up $1 to pay for something. Most of the time it’s been pretty funny — the first time I paid taxes as an employed person, I owed the feds $1. I gladly whipped out my check book, wrote out one clam to the IRS and promptly laughed my way out of H&R Block.
My morning coffee will occasionally run me a...
December 2009
7 posts
What? One number wasn't enough?
Dear Account Thief No. 2,
I’d like to know what it is that I’ve done to make myself a target again. I’m not mean to anyone. I’m actually a caring, kind individual who has a lot of empathy. So, why exercise your illegal whims on me?
Yes, The Bank called me again this morning, alerting me that you’ve been pilfering cash out of my bank account. Just how did you get...
Sometimes we're most frightened...
when we aren’t the ones in immediate danger.
Big Girl has been dealing with stomach pains for a few weeks now. In the wee, small hours of Sunday morning, she vomited in her bed. We changed her sheets and her pajamas, and she went back to sleep. Some time between 1:45 and 7:20, she threw up again. The next day, she was fine, until around 5 when she decided that all she wanted to do was curl...
I should've stayed in bed...
Alexander isn’t the only one who had a terrible, horrible, no-good, very-bad, day. I did, too.
I had such hopes for today. The weather is slightly warmer than normal today, the rain had lifted, my outfit was cute. Big Girl and Little Man cooperated in getting dressed relatively easily. I should’ve known with all these good things, something enormously bad was right around the...
To my own credit card thief
Dear Credit Card Thief,
Merry Christmas! Oh, wait, that’s not what I wanted to say. You suck. Yes, that’s what I meant.
I don’t know who you are (though I am suspicious that you work for Bouncy Inflatable Tiki Hut), but I’d like to find you and give you a truly heart-felt thank you for making me stand at the check-out desk at the spa the other day and talk to the...
How would you like a fat lip?
You’d think I would learn. Didn’t I just write the other day about all the bodily abuse I endure from my children.
Yep. I must have some deep-seated masochistic nature that, until now, has been dormant. Tonight, Little Man attacked again.
For her birthday, we bought Big Girl a recorder. You know, one of those musical instruments that breaks down into three parts — we all...
Is there a hit out on me...
with my own kids acting as the assassins?
I love my children. I really do. I love playing with them. I love being a young-enough mom to get down on the floor, roll around, pick them up, run through the house with them as airplanes, turn them upside down, lift them over my head…you get the point.
But I’ve realized lately that there’s a severe disadvantage to this. By...
If you have a party at Bouncy Inflatable Tiki...
expect to have a “wild” experience.
Now, I’m not one to complain — much — but I believe that if you advertise yourself as an establishment practiced in hosting all-inclusive birthday parties for toddlers, you should have a clockwork system that works under any circumstances, including the unforeseen ones.
This weekend, we celebrated Big Girl’s 3rd birthday....
November 2009
8 posts
A Thankful Prayer
While I don’t often put my religious and spiritual beliefs out there for the world to see, I am a person of deep faith. My belief in God has shepherded me through many times of crisis, self-doubt, pain and uncertainty. His grace has provided me with all that I hold dear in my life, and now is one of those rare times when I feel the need to say thank you publicly.
We’re in the midst...
Again? Cancer doesn't always grow slowly.
Last week, I climbed onto my soap box about the new recommendations regarding mammograms for women ages 40-49. Angry as I was, I figured that this would be the extent of the devaluation of women’s health.
Wrong.
Just a few days ago, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) released its own set of recommendations regarding Pap smears and cervical cancer. I was...
The parents-once-removed
This week has been particularly rough for Loving Husband and me. We’ve both either lost someone or received devastating news about an older adult in our lives who played a pivotal role in our pasts.
I’m calling them the parents-once-removed. No, not the In-Laws. They are different. I’m talking about an adult who was kind of us in our youths, someone who played a parental role...
Is the health of women really this unimportant?
My mother is a 10-year breast cancer survivor. She wasn’t diagnosed until the age of 52, but her doctors determined that she had been living with the disease for more than two years. Her age at her diagnosis puts me at increased risk for the disease.
I’m only 31, but given that my mother and my paternal aunt have both developed this insidious illness, doctors have previously...
Can you tell me how to get...
how to get to Sesame Street?
Happy 40th Birthday to the grandfather of all educational children’s shows! It’s hard to believe that the same show that helped me learn how to count and remember my letters, that taught me that everyone is the same no matter what we look like and that learning is fun is still going strong.
I remember how excited I would get when I saw Big Bird and...
He's absorbent, yellow and porous...
he’s not a terrorist or some evil subversive cartoon character designed to teach our kids bad habits or how to make rude sounds. He’s just SpongeBob Squarepants. And I do not understand why so many parents (including a couple that I know) have such a problem with their kids spending 30 minutes with a square sponge who’s biggest vice, as I can see, is that he loves to work for a...
There but for the grace of God...
go I. There are many times in my life when I find this singular phrase running through my mind. When I see a mother with a child who suffers from severe disabilities. When I see someone who has suffered a disfiguring injury. Perhaps one of the hardest things for me to see, though, is the person who has lost it all, who has been reduced to begging in the streets, who has no substantial place to...
And, just where did you learn how to fish?
Big Girl is still sick with the swine flu, so she’s at home today with Loving Husband. Amazingly, though, getting Little Man and Big Girl ready for their respective days was harder when one of them was staying home. Who knew?
So, I was running slightly late this morning. As I’m hurriedly trying to iron my skirt, I hear Big Girl say, “Look, Mommy! I’m fishing!”...
October 2009
17 posts
When is a baby's teething toy not a baby's...
When it’s a puppy’s chew toy.
Each time I’ve had a child, people have been incredibly generous with the gifts they have given. We were able to get our children to 3-months-old before we had to buy clothing. We made it through most of my maternity leave the first time without having the buy diapers. We were overwhelmingly thankful for everything we received.
There were,...
This little piggy...
did not go to the market. This little piggy did, however, stay home. This little piggy has been diagnosed with H1N1 — yep, the swine flu.
No, it’s not me. I’m not the piggy. I’m the sow, I guess you could say. God, did I really just refer to myself that way?! No, the piggy is Big Girl. Her pediatrician officially diagnosed her as a victim of the pandemic this morning....
Testing my convictions
I read something today that brought back a particularly terrifying part of my life. The Drudge Report posted an article that said John Allen Muhammad, also famously known as the D.C. Sniper, will be executed by lethal injection in Virginia on Nov. 10. For the past seven years, I have managed to not think about those three weeks in October (as Chief Moose so aptly named his book about the...
So, you say you're the Bug Man?
You know, I would’ve never known you were the Bug Man. Yes, I do see the large insect-type creature made of plastic and metal that sits atop your truck. Of course, I see the canisters of spray, little dials of “poison” and various types of bug traps that fill your back seat. Um hmm, I did notice the name of your company written in orange and green on the side of your vehicle. I...
Papa -- that was NOT an elephant under your chair!
Lately, we haven’t taken Big Girl and Little Man out to a restaurant because they turn into little evil gnomes every time we try to go out. But, considering that both my parents are here this weekend, Loving Husband just successfully pulled off the first public seminar for his new company and Mom and I spent the day attacking the disorganization that is my house, we thought attempting dinner...
I think the Heenes stole the Bad Parent Award
After I posted my rant about Jon & Kate last week, I didn’t think I would ever encounter another set of parents who I thought treated their children more recklessly than they do.
I was wrong.
The Heene family — that family who pulled the helium balloon stunt with their 6-year-old child — has now assumed this place of dubious honor. Against my better judgment last week, I...
Wait...I thought it was my birthday!
When I got married, I was making a huge compromise. No, not a compromise by marrying Loving Husband. That was, and still is, wonderful. The big concession on my part was that we were married on my 25th birthday. So, I quickly had to come to terms with knowing that my birthday was never going to be solely about me ever again. But, that’s okay — Loving Husband and I agreed that the...
A parents' worst nightmare...
At least that’s what it looks like at this point. For the last hour or so, every news outlet across the country has been broadcasting and posting online updates about a home-made helium balloon-aircraft that possibly carried a 6-year-old boy who, according to a sibling, untied the balloon, then climbed inside and floated away. The major concern here — other than such a small child...
Second-hand smoke on the donor list
CNN ran a story this morning that made my heart break. A British soldier who served in Iraq died last year because he received a double-lung transplant using lungs that had belonged to a smoker. And not just any smoker — a smoker who had, judging by the condition of the lungs, smoked up to 50 cigarettes a day. The damaged lungs already had the beginnings of tumor growth when they were...
So sick of Jon & Kate
In full disclosure, I have watched this show a grand total of one time. I watched it because it was the episode after all the rumors about Jon’s affair surfaced, and I got sucked in. After sitting through that hour of my life that I won’t get back, I vowed never to watch anything with Jon & Kate in the title ever again.
But, despite my very best efforts, these two fame-hungry,...
Cast your cares away...worries for another day
Down in Fraggle Rock!
I just have to share this. I don’t know if any one loved the HBO series from the early to mid-1980s as much as I did, but I adored Fraggle Rock. It’s one of those warm, fuzzy memories from my childhood. When it went out of production (or we stopped getting HBO, I can’t remember), I was so sad that I wasn’t going to be able to see it anymore.
Over...
All we wanted was a Christmas tree...
No, we didn’t go Christmas shopping today, but I did think back to my college days while rocking Little Man tonight. It all started with thinking about carving pumpkins this weekend with Big Girl and Little Man, and that make me think of doing the same thing with my college roommates our sophomore year. Then, I heard Loving Husband reading “The Night Before Christmas” to Big Girl...
A Google search is an easy thing
So do it. Honestly, it can save you embarrassment. It can prevent you from unloading a lot of erroneous information of your friends and family.
Now, I’m a compassionate person, but maybe it was the years I spent living in D.C. or maybe it was the time I spent as a working reporter that made me question everything. I really mean everything. I kid you not, twice now I have been able to spot...