December 2009
7 posts
What? One number wasn't enough?
Dear Account Thief No. 2,
I’d like to know what it is that I’ve done to make myself a target again. I’m not mean to anyone. I’m actually a caring, kind individual who has a lot of empathy. So, why exercise your illegal whims on me?
Yes, The Bank called me again this morning, alerting me that you’ve been pilfering cash out of my bank account. Just how did you get...
Sometimes we're most frightened...
when we aren’t the ones in immediate danger.
Big Girl has been dealing with stomach pains for a few weeks now. In the wee, small hours of Sunday morning, she vomited in her bed. We changed her sheets and her pajamas, and she went back to sleep. Some time between 1:45 and 7:20, she threw up again. The next day, she was fine, until around 5 when she decided that all she wanted to do was curl...
I should've stayed in bed...
Alexander isn’t the only one who had a terrible, horrible, no-good, very-bad, day. I did, too.
I had such hopes for today. The weather is slightly warmer than normal today, the rain had lifted, my outfit was cute. Big Girl and Little Man cooperated in getting dressed relatively easily. I should’ve known with all these good things, something enormously bad was right around the...
To my own credit card thief
Dear Credit Card Thief,
Merry Christmas! Oh, wait, that’s not what I wanted to say. You suck. Yes, that’s what I meant.
I don’t know who you are (though I am suspicious that you work for Bouncy Inflatable Tiki Hut), but I’d like to find you and give you a truly heart-felt thank you for making me stand at the check-out desk at the spa the other day and talk to the...
How would you like a fat lip?
You’d think I would learn. Didn’t I just write the other day about all the bodily abuse I endure from my children.
Yep. I must have some deep-seated masochistic nature that, until now, has been dormant. Tonight, Little Man attacked again.
For her birthday, we bought Big Girl a recorder. You know, one of those musical instruments that breaks down into three parts — we all...
Is there a hit out on me...
with my own kids acting as the assassins?
I love my children. I really do. I love playing with them. I love being a young-enough mom to get down on the floor, roll around, pick them up, run through the house with them as airplanes, turn them upside down, lift them over my head…you get the point.
But I’ve realized lately that there’s a severe disadvantage to this. By...
If you have a party at Bouncy Inflatable Tiki...
expect to have a “wild” experience.
Now, I’m not one to complain — much — but I believe that if you advertise yourself as an establishment practiced in hosting all-inclusive birthday parties for toddlers, you should have a clockwork system that works under any circumstances, including the unforeseen ones.
This weekend, we celebrated Big Girl’s 3rd birthday....