Forgotten Sleep

Big Girl is still sick with the swine flu, so she’s at home today with Loving Husband. Amazingly, though, getting Little Man and Big Girl ready for their respective days was harder when one of them was staying home. Who knew?

So, I was running slightly late this morning. As I’m hurriedly trying to iron my skirt, I hear Big Girl say, “Look, Mommy! I’m fishing!” Without looking up yet, I said, “Where did you learn how to fish?” She replied that she had learned at school. She’s in preschool, so I was interested to see how they taught preschoolers (who do not attend school near a body of water, mind you) to fish. My eyes were met with one of the cutest and funniest scenes I’d seen in quite a while.

There, perched on the side of our jacuzzi tub, was Big Girl. Her feet were dangling properly, as though she were sitting on a dock. In her hands — an unwrapped tampon. Her approach as very professional. She held on to the plastic end of the tampon and dangled the strings in the air. She even flicked it every now and then to entice the pretend fish to bite.

And, bite they did, apparently. All of a sudden, she called out, “I caught a fish!” I was already giggling uncontrollably, but I managed to ask her what kind of fish she had managed to capture. I had to know what type of fish would be attracted to the string end of a Playtex tampon.

Apparently, the answer would be apple fish. Of course, I’ve never had one such imaginary apple fish, but I wonder if it would be a fad that could catch on in high-end restaurants. I can hear the waiters now, “And for tonight’s special, we have a truly beautiful, tampon-caught apple fish, roasted with fennel and leeks for $35. Pair it with a Pinot Grigio.”