Forgotten Sleep

he’s not a terrorist or some evil subversive cartoon character designed to teach our kids bad habits or how to make rude sounds. He’s just SpongeBob Squarepants. And I do not understand why so many parents (including a couple that I know) have such a problem with their kids spending 30 minutes with a square sponge who’s biggest vice, as I can see, is that he loves to work for a greedy crab. Am I missing something here?

As a younger teenager, I vividly remember cartoons that really were trying to be as gross or nefarious as possible — Beavis and Butthead, Ren and Stimpy. Do those of you parents who are my age even remember what it was like to have those cartoons on the air? Talk about beaming crap right into your head.

But SpongeBob? Come off it — this little guy is funny, and so are his friends. The humor is absurdist and light-hearted. There’s no bathroom humor, no bad language. In fact, SpongeBob is a kind-hearted little sea creature who likes to do nice things for people. So what if he’s a little slow or simple? Doesn’t that just mean that he’s a big like Gilligan? I’ve never heard of parents denying their children the chance to what the Little Buddy and Skipper engage in their antics on the uncharted island.

I don’t want to insult anyone or make assumptions about intelligence. I don’t want to question anyone’s values because people are entitled to feel what they feel. But I have to wonder if it’s just that they don’t get the show. Do they not get the jokes themselves? Or is it because they get them that they think the show is inappropriate for their children?

I suppose if the answer to either of those last two questions is yes, my inclination would be to hope that these parents would just lighten up. Give your kids more credit. Small ones are smarter than we think they are sometimes. They can tell when something is silly. They know that when SpongeBob does something ridiculous, such as wearing his underwear outside of his pants, that they aren’t supposed to emulate it.

If you treat SpongeBob or any other cartoon like he’s taboo or something naughty, you’re only going to drive your kids to him. Think about that for a moment. You know that it’s true.

Besides, people, a little nautical nonsense never hurt anyone.