Forgotten Sleep

This week has been particularly rough for Loving Husband and me. We’ve both either lost someone or received devastating news about an older adult in our lives who played a pivotal role in our pasts.

I’m calling them the parents-once-removed. No, not the In-Laws. They are different. I’m talking about an adult who was kind of us in our youths, someone who played a parental role without evening knowing it.

On Wednesday, I found out that my very first boyfriend’s mother died. She valiantly fought brain cancer for a little more than two years, searching for the best treatment available. She had phenomenal treatment for most of her sickness — she was one of the lucky ones who suffer from brain tumors.

I call her my parent-once-removed because she welcomed me readily into her family when I started dating her son when we were in high school. He was my first boyfriend; I was his first girlfriend. His mother opened her home and her heart to me, making me feel completely comfortable in a situation that was pretty foreign to me. Toward the end of my relationship with her son, my own father ended up in the hospital with a life-threatening illness. My parents were both in the hospital overnight, and this woman took me in for the evening. I slept under her roof. She fed me and gave me comfort during a time when I was so scared. For that, I will always be grateful.

She was a king, generous, albeit, nervous woman. She had a warmth about her that was inviting. I saw her for the last time at a now-defunct restaurant that mainly served the Sunday after-church crowd. She was there with her husband — she looked the same as she had when I was in high school. That’s been more than three years ago. I’m thankful that that will be the final image in my mind of her.

Tonight, Loving Husband received word that his best friend’s mother has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She is currently in a psychiatric-mental ward, suffering from depression and dementia. This same best friend lost his father last year after a long battle with Parkinson’s. Both of these individuals had a profound impact on Loving Husband’s life. Best friend’s dad taught him how to ride a bicycle, played basketball with him and, generally, treated him as a son. Best friend’s mother also took care of him sometimes when he was ill (from too much drinking). No doubt, you can see why she ranks as a parent-once-removed.

It’s so sad to see the people we love, the people who watched over us, comforted us, cared for us, fall victim to such ill health. I suppose we should look at it as an invitation to appreciate the individuals who enhance our lives.

Thank them when you can.