Forgotten Sleep

Loving Husband did a wonderful thing this morning. We are out of oatmeal, so he volunteered upon first waking up to go to Dunkin’ Donuts to get muffins, coffee and orange juice for the kids. He’s great like that.

It should be noted that Loving Husband is the kind of man who needs a big cup of coffee and at least an hour to wake up properly and be functional.

When he got home, this was the story:

Rather than go through the drive-through, he went in. This was his order: three blueberry muffins, two orange juices, one black coffee and one coconut coffee with cream and sugar. Easy enough, right?

Apparently not.

“Did you want the regular blueberry or the low-fat blueberry?” (This is, of course, a legitimate question.)

“Regular blueberry, please.”

“What kind of coffee did you want, sir?”

“A black, and a coconut with cream and sugar.”

“So, you want a black coffee with some coconut added to it?”

“No. One black coffee and one coconut with cream and sugar.”

“Okay, one black coffee with sugar and one coconut with cream.”

At this point, for those of who you do not know Loving Husband and his mental state when he’s just awakened and is pre-coffee, it took all his internal strength not to blow his top. It literally, according to him, took three minutes to explain this relatively simple order to the three, yes three, Dunkin’ Donuts employees who were assisting him.

Amazingly, he exited the store with blueberry muffins, orange juices and coffees in the correct quantities and flavors. If only Dunkin’ Donuts knew how lucky they were!